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FortuneCookie3

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FortuneCookie3

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 590
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FortuneCookie3 : mssge me if you want to talk

FortuneCookie3's page activity

Visits<b>katielynn1219</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:09am<b>odod777</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Slackerz4Life</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:08pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:03am<b>alwaysthinking</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 6:22pm

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FortuneCookie3's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (3109)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (3109)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18263) - you deserved it (8353)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18263) - you deserved it (8353)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14410) - you deserved it (36249)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14410) - you deserved it (36249)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (4673)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (4673)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30323) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30323) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (7311)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8107) - you deserved it (26598)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

#19092080
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11052) - you deserved it (27763)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7901) - you deserved it (46207)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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