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Fortuitous

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Fortuitous

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2429
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fortuitous : Be wary of defenestration.

This profile doesn't say much about me, so send me a message about anything. I always reply. My picture is a representation of my ideas about the world.

"Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

"Nothing is evil which is in accordance to nature."

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

To analyze a quote is to gain the wisdom it supplies. To use a quote is to truly understand its meaning.

Now, this is my interpretation of the FML caste system.

1. FML Gods: the radiance of this site (kind of like those dudes on Mount Olympus)
2. FML Demi-Gods: truly respected commenters that you can never, ever win an argument with
3. FML Geniuses: the hilarious Grammar Nazis that have display their prowess in beautifully destroying idiots

Then, everyone else.

Fortuitous's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:45am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:02pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:58pm<b>KimTheInsomniac</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:51pm<b>PJMLG</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Classy_Turtle</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 7:09pm<b>writingkarma</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 7:03pm<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:32am<b>djsammyc</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:42pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:53am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 2:43pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 12:59am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 10:40pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 12:45pm

Fortuitous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fortuitous's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31907) - you deserved it (141187)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57287) - you deserved it (19937)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (82063)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (692742) - you deserved it (55750)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67307) - you deserved it (19879)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
504 comments

I agree, your life sucks (230452) - you deserved it (80623)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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