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Fortuitous

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Fortuitous

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2988
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fortuitous : Be wary of defenestration.

This profile doesn't say much about me, so send me a message about anything. I always reply. My picture is a representation of my ideas about the world.

"Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

"Nothing is evil which is in accordance to nature."

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

To analyze a quote is to gain the wisdom it supplies. To use a quote is to truly understand its meaning.

Now, this is my interpretation of the FML caste system.

1. FML Gods: the radiance of this site (kind of like those dudes on Mount Olympus)
2. FML Demi-Gods: truly respected commenters that you can never, ever win an argument with
3. FML Geniuses: the hilarious Grammar Nazis that have display their prowess in beautifully destroying idiots

Then, everyone else.

Fortuitous's page activity

Visits<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:17pm<b>agentlilye</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:18pm<b>bigmike3000</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:11am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:42pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:29pm<b>DarkAvalon</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:02pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Doubtful_Judge</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:01pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 5:15am<b>Camlin93</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:55pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:04am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:57pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:32pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:35pm<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:45am

Fucked!<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:04am

Fortuitous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fortuitous's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (146965)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57681) - you deserved it (20043)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (83334)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
709 comments

I agree, your life sucks (743518) - you deserved it (56835)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67861) - you deserved it (19994)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244491) - you deserved it (82519)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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