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Fortuitous

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Fortuitous

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2528
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fortuitous : Be wary of defenestration.

This profile doesn't say much about me, so send me a message about anything. I always reply. My picture is a representation of my ideas about the world.

"Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

"Nothing is evil which is in accordance to nature."

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

To analyze a quote is to gain the wisdom it supplies. To use a quote is to truly understand its meaning.

Now, this is my interpretation of the FML caste system.

1. FML Gods: the radiance of this site (kind of like those dudes on Mount Olympus)
2. FML Demi-Gods: truly respected commenters that you can never, ever win an argument with
3. FML Geniuses: the hilarious Grammar Nazis that have display their prowess in beautifully destroying idiots

Then, everyone else.

Fortuitous's page activity

Visits<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:32pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:35pm<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:45am<b>KittyBunny</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:09pm<b>siddo_sidddo</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:54pm<b>ThisDirtyDreamer</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:36am<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:09am<b>mathen</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:45am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:02pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:58pm<b>KimTheInsomniac</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:51pm<b>PJMLG</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Classy_Turtle</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 7:09pm<b>writingkarma</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 7:03pm<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:32am

Fortuitous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fortuitous's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (141507)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57344) - you deserved it (19968)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (82918)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (702129) - you deserved it (55964)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67383) - you deserved it (19903)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234518) - you deserved it (81892)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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