Fortuitous

Search for a member

Fortuitous

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3932
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fortuitous : Be wary of defenestration.

This profile doesn't say much about me, so send me a message about anything. I always reply. My picture is a representation of my ideas about the world.

"Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

"Nothing is evil which is in accordance to nature."

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

To analyze a quote is to gain the wisdom it supplies. To use a quote is to truly understand its meaning.

Now, this is my interpretation of the FML caste system.

1. FML Gods: the radiance of this site (kind of like those dudes on Mount Olympus)
2. FML Demi-Gods: truly respected commenters that you can never, ever win an argument with
3. FML Geniuses: the hilarious Grammar Nazis that have display their prowess in beautifully destroying idiots

Then, everyone else.

Fortuitous's page activity

Visits<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:45am<b>PepeLord</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:59pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 1:20am<b>neawalkerthebear</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:14am<b>Rosieflowers7</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:13pm<b>callie91800</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:10am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:25pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:20am<b>mip_92</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 10:50pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:14pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:29pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:11pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:27pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:43pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 12:36am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:32am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 9:15pm

Fucked!<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 6:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:27am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:56am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:04am

Fortuitous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fortuitous's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

by Username / 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

by Ashley Marshburn / 10/17/2010 at 9:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 12:59am / United States / Health

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

by mylifesuckssss / 10/09/2010 at 12:39am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

by Embarrassed / 10/01/2010 at 9:06am / United States / Health