This member hasn't filled in their description.
Foos's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Foos's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML
by pocketrocket90 / 08/08/2014 at 2:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
by dorrisdoes / 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm / New Zealand / Work
by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by teegtwo / 07/22/2014 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
by thedoc / 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her… Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the… Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was…