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Fooflybag

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Fooflybag

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  • Number of visits : 61
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fooflybag's page activity

Visits<b>TiiBags</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:06am

Fooflybag's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Fooflybag's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (2495)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (6740)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (5278)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (50396)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42777) - you deserved it (5100)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35030) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (5335)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25105) - you deserved it (5773)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (1665)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (7534)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (31475)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14037) - you deserved it (36241) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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