Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Food2Abs

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

Food2Abs

3Liked!

Food2Abs
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 330
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Food2Abs : I'm a sophmore in high school. 16, wrestle and do MMA, sometimes I do cross-fit. I listen to music all the time, mostly rock, but it ranges from screamo to alternative. I like to be outside, swimming, and workout. I like to draw...hmm I like dogs, preferably big dogs. I'm addicted to food!! Feel free to message me, I don't bite...much.

...yeah that's about it.

Food2Abs's page activity

Visits<b>aspenmoon</b> - yesterday at 12:28am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:41pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:31pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:59am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:08am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 4:10am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:40pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:43pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:31pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:41pm<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:21pm<b>LaceyRenea753</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 5:44pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:26am<b>sju91</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:53pm<b>bellles</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:28am<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:47pm

Liked!<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:15am<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:00am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:28pm

Food2Abs's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Food2Abs's badges

Food2Abs's favorite FMLs

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (2636)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41410) - you deserved it (7830)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (7018)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (4578)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (3619)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (11489)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (21171)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49285) - you deserved it (5489)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43975) - you deserved it (9919)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

#21175255
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (5545)

On 06/15/2014 at 7:10am - love - by ToddlersWife - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46165) - you deserved it (22793)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (4275)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46956) - you deserved it (4026)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (6448)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: