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Offline (the 12/24/2014 at 4:22am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1255
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Food2Abs : I'm a sophmore in high school. 16, wrestle and do MMA, sometimes I do cross-fit. I listen to music all the time, mostly rock, but it ranges from screamo to rap. I like to be outside, swimming, and workout. I like to draw. I'm addicted to food!! Feel free to message me, I don't bite...much.

...yeah that's about it.

Food2Abs's page activity

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Fucked!<b>LaceyRenea753</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:27pm<b>hailleylynn</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:50am<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:15am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:28pm

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Food2Abs's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

by thenegatives / 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

by ... / 07/27/2014 at 1:51am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

by I don't condome that, babe / 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

by ToddlersWife / 06/15/2014 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous