FlyinTurtle

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FlyinTurtle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1365
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About FlyinTurtle : I AM NOT TOPH! I AM THE MELON LORD!

FlyinTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:10am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 8:55pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:54am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:07pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:32pm<b>kaet</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:41pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:14pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:37pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:30pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 12:05pm<b>razi1</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 10:38pm<b>bigwiensch</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 3:33pm<b>sarbear11753</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:57am<b>Merfy</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:50am<b>kansah</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:43am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 7:13am<b>Random_Red</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 5:58am<b>auriane</b> - the 10/24/2012 at 7:25pm

Fucked!<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:54am

FlyinTurtle's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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FlyinTurtle's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

by BusinessTurtle / 10/06/2012 at 3:49am / United States (Iowa) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health

Today, my mom turned off all internet access in our house because she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML

by Oh_So_Klassical / 09/17/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

by Nickie809 / 09/17/2012 at 10:59am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy