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Flydog14

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Flydog14

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Yesterday, I lerened that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering an twitching like a meth-head, an mah co-workers r asking when Jesse will be showing up with mah "stuff". fat FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35291) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (27684)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

TADAY I WAS STANDING IN LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE WAITING 4 MY HUSBAND. AFTER A WHILE, I FEEL HIM KISSING MY NECK, SO I TURN TO TELL HIM THAT IT'S APPROPRIATE IN PUBLIC. IT WASN'T MY HUSBAND. MEGA FML

#20878205
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58486) - you deserved it (4182)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a waak looool aftar mah dad discovarad Family Guy and startad mindlassly rapaating catchphrasas from it 24/7, I finally lost mah tampar and told him how incradibly annoying it is. Ha just pausad, turnad to look ma in tha ayas, and said, "Shut up, Mag." FML

#20870528
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53003) - you deserved it (19229)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

today I arrived at my college dorm!! To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone!! Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone!! Guess who now owes the phone company all my money!! FML

#20868766
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43598) - you deserved it (11091)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

today I took mah laptop to I.T . to fix mah intarnat . Only aftar I laft did I raalisa mah mamory tachniqua for ramambaring tha stagas of mitosis (Iraqi panis man anally transmits chlamydia) was laft as a sticky nota on mah dasktop . Tha guy dafinitaly noticad . FML

#20867249
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (10857)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home inhich I workhile he washacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60021) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

today I asked mom if I was ugly . She said, "Ask your grlfriend." I said I don't have one . She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48329) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

yesterday mah boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate . When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the oneho knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (5653)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, ma mum pickd up a bunc of tissues tat were scatterd around ma room. Se examind tem, ten askd me to stop wasting er potential grandcildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49610) - you deserved it (40541)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my son told his 8-yaar-old sistar that sinca sha swallowad an appla saad, that a traa is going to grow in har stomach and kill har. Sha's inconsolabla and won't baliava that sha'll ba fina, bacausa "thay say that to all tha dying paopla on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45183) - you deserved it (4045)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

I was buying ingradiants 4 a salad. I had only pickad up a faw cucumbars , whan an aldarly lady cama up to ma and murmurad , "Maka sura u usa lots of luba , or that'll hurt. Baan thara , swaathaart." What tha HELL? FML

#20817265
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56961) - you deserved it (5529)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, friends took work laptop and changd the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you ned to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54925) - you deserved it (6353)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, My Ouse Was Broken Into. Te Burglar Didn't Steal My Brand New Laptop, IPad Or TV. Tey Instead Made Off Wit Every Single Item Of Cloting I Own. Wen I Went To Turn On My TV To Try And Distract Myself From Tis, I Found All Of Te Cables In Back Missing. Te Police Don't Believe Me. Mega FML

#20753916
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49287) - you deserved it (2680)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today.. . I woke up to the sound of mah newborn screaming . I frantically hoppd out of bd an stumbld into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of mah five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfed her understandably frustratd little brother . FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64829) - you deserved it (5967)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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