About Flutist : This is kind of the bitch account for my friend Becca, me (Sandy) and our friend Tim. I got this account from my cousin Regina. So if the messages are kinda weird its because we have three people using it. :/ Weird I know.
Flutist's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Flutist's favorite FMLs
by whymyliferose / 06/03/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…