Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Flutist

Search for a member

Flutist

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4793
  • Number of comments : 839
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Flutist : This is kind of the bitch account for my friend Becca, me (Sandy) and our friend Tim. I got this account from my cousin Regina. So if the messages are kinda weird its because we have three people using it. :/ Weird I know.

Flutist's page activity

Visits<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:19pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:23am<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:15am<b>msk1155</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:47pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 5:43am<b>ShannonBonnanen</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:45am<b>C7</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:06am<b>kanyevevo</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 12:16am<b>spn_castle4</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:08am<b>ameliaruth09</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 3:46pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 3:33pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:26am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:15am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Blizzards</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:52pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:45pm<b>danictic</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:47pm

Flutist's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Flutist's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34440) - you deserved it (4349)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

#16251176
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11269) - you deserved it (77902)

On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70118) - you deserved it (4823)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44334) - you deserved it (28254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (21490) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47930) - you deserved it (6766)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27705) - you deserved it (5108)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (258311) - you deserved it (88113)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: