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Fluffy_Fear

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Fluffy_Fear
  • Town/Country : San Mateo, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3311
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fluffy_Fear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9294) - you deserved it (53829)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (728)

I agree, your life sucks (445463) - you deserved it (30120)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching TV, randomly she starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited she says to me "Just Joking". FML

#946704 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (111150) - you deserved it (14783)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850 (354)

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (70573)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (586)

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (115402)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

#818670 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (84043) - you deserved it (25466)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (191309) - you deserved it (9754)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (80187) - you deserved it (33122)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170826) - you deserved it (52067)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (93123) - you deserved it (8951)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (383)

I agree, your life sucks (140150) - you deserved it (19175)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382 (463)

I agree, your life sucks (94717) - you deserved it (14816)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (543)

I agree, your life sucks (35957) - you deserved it (225393)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (61023)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (79648)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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