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FloridaGirl23

Offline (the 03/26/2014 at 9:22pm) | Search for a member

FloridaGirl23

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  • Number of visits : 94
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FloridaGirl23's page activity

Visits<b>klovemachine</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:54pm

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50 favourites

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FloridaGirl23's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (9399)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60339) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47707) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

#21206148
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44295) - you deserved it (4119)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by morgan_rumm (woman) -

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53406) - you deserved it (11027)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51722) - you deserved it (16764)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43359) - you deserved it (6210)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

#21166627
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51512) - you deserved it (6760)

On 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm - misc - by Un1ucky (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49639) - you deserved it (4114)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53889) - you deserved it (3335)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61985) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51398) - you deserved it (6856)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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