Florence_

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Florence_

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6265
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Florence_ : Come join me on dA and Tumblr!

dA: camillothemagician.deviantart.com

Tumblr: eldorado-to-the-moon.tumblr.com

Florence_'s page activity

Visits<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:22pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:29am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:39pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:02am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:26am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:52pm<b>isabelf</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:39pm<b>RandomPrius</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:24am<b>Konain</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:57am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 1:38am<b>chippa</b> - the 01/24/2011 at 6:57pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:23am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 12/24/2010 at 3:04pm

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:02pm

Florence_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Florence_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, after years of waiting, my mom and I finally received a check from Child Support Services. Excited, I opened it up to find a check from my dad, written out for 45 cents. Which pays for maybe half a loaf of bread. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

by Remember the parking brake / 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

by kat101 / 10/04/2010 at 6:11pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

by EffinAhole / 10/03/2010 at 12:27am / Intimacy

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

by lyssuhhhh / 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work