Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Florence_

Search for a member

Florence_

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3782
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Florence_ : Come join me on dA and Tumblr!

dA: camillothemagician.deviantart.com

Tumblr: eldorado-to-the-moon.tumblr.com

Florence_'s page activity

Visits<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:52pm<b>isabelf</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:39pm<b>RandomPrius</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>edsheeran2</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:24am<b>Konain</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:57am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/22/2011 at 1:38am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 7:16pm<b>chippa</b> - the 01/24/2011 at 6:57pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 12/24/2010 at 3:04pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 12/15/2010 at 11:35am<b>sure_burt</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 7:24pm<b>Kevin679</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 1:32pm<b>xiiijinx</b> - the 10/12/2010 at 4:07pm<b>Crlnprz</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 11:20pm<b>facimus</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 11:16pm

Florence_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Florence_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2932)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42370) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75479) - you deserved it (3332)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

#13506521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (3937)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39676) - you deserved it (3298)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46689) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

#13485553
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (5537)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (25945)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (7992)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

#13468251
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3759)

On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27128) - you deserved it (2836)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45360) - you deserved it (8169)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

#13417428
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (7427)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:26am - misc - by babydoll (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: