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Florence_

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Florence_
  • Town/Country : Stockholm, Sweden
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2477
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Florence_ : Come join me on dA and Tumblr!

dA: camillothemagician.deviantart.com

Tumblr: eldorado-to-the-moon.tumblr.com

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Florence_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (2090)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, not only did I miss my bus by seconds, I also saw the bus driver smirking as he drove past me in the middle of the Canadian winter. FML

#14233418
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by peanutface - Canada

Today, I was helping a customer when she asked if we were open on Christmas eve. I wasn't sure, so I asked my manager. My manager looked me over and said, "Yes, we will be open. Thank you for volunteering to come in." FML

#14223597
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (3650)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:06pm - work - by adjk90 - United States

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (5202)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

#14216323
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (4035)

On 12/15/2010 at 8:01pm - misc - by unlovedfatty (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (7695)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (3598)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (19257)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (19257)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104539) - you deserved it (14020)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94236) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

#14106944
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12948) - you deserved it (21806)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (7620)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (5727)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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