About FlavorfulUnicorn : I graduated from Cosmetology school March 2010. I'll be attending college the summer of 2010 to pursue my dream of teaching English overseas in Asia.
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FlavorfulUnicorn's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML
by JefferyT / 06/03/2011 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Health
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by mylove / 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
by fuckmyliiiiiiife / 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML
by buymeadrank / 04/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Idaho) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
by cgold / 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (California) / Love
by Mars / 04/29/2009 at 5:40am / United States (California) / Health
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
by Jake / 04/29/2009 at 4:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
by frenchgirlll / 04/27/2009 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML
by ewwww / 04/27/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
by jimboxo / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML
by chriss / 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…