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About FlavorfulUnicorn : I graduated from Cosmetology school March 2010. I'll be attending college the summer of 2010 to pursue my dream of teaching English overseas in Asia.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (2943)
On 06/03/2011 at 1:16am - health - by JefferyT (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (3083)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51557) - you deserved it (7849)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (17630)
On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72223) - you deserved it (6272)
On 04/30/2009 at 11:11am - health - by buymeadrank (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83680) - you deserved it (11756)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69334) - you deserved it (5832)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60303) - you deserved it (3149)
On 04/29/2009 at 5:40am - health - by Mars (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (4233)
On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (11017)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75456) - you deserved it (15624)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46696) - you deserved it (8140)
On 04/27/2009 at 12:43am - love - by frenchgirlll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56756) - you deserved it (2561)
On 04/27/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my fiancé got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancé will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (7328)
On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77951) - you deserved it (29138)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
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