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FlapDragon

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FlapDragon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4056
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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FlapDragon's page activity

Visits<b>stryder9090</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>njgohard</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:51am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:43pm<b>callmefunnymam</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:04am<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:12am<b>redwill85</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:59am<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:31pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 7:55pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Minedibuzz</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:08pm<b>markal2231</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:15am<b>yginez</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:53pm<b>AMN1D</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 6:52am

FlapDragon's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of FlapDragon's badges

FlapDragon's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (8986)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30006) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML

#21347579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (33981)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (11870)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (6463)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (2646)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States



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