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FlapDragon

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FlapDragon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2932
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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FlapDragon's page activity

Visits<b>stryder9090</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>njgohard</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:51am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:43pm<b>callmefunnymam</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:04am<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:12am<b>redwill85</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:59am<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:31pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 7:55pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Minedibuzz</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 7:08pm<b>markal2231</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 3:15am<b>yginez</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:53pm<b>AMN1D</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 6:52am

FlapDragon's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of FlapDragon's badges

FlapDragon's favorite FMLs

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (32863)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35275) - you deserved it (3197)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (10783)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33057) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (2768)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (2394)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36853) - you deserved it (16299)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42573) - you deserved it (5136)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (3524)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41372) - you deserved it (3218)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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