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Flambuginous

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Flambuginous

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  • Number of visits : 138
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Flambuginous's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45808) - you deserved it (2916)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (4054)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44241) - you deserved it (3443)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (22939)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98109) - you deserved it (5958)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54155) - you deserved it (3027)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (2988)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77092) - you deserved it (5270)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46778) - you deserved it (8982)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58961) - you deserved it (8595)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57089) - you deserved it (3649)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46959) - you deserved it (3895)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57313) - you deserved it (6994)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86368) - you deserved it (5470)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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