Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Firewielder

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 1:57am) | Search for a member

Firewielder

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1426
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Firewielder : Well, hello everyone and welcome to my profile! Hope you have fun here! Don't go into the basement.

Firewielder's page activity

Visits<b>eddy1965</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:18am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:36am<b>heathertail</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:30pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:50am<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:32am<b>Alan2</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:02am<b>slimblack</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:34pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:45pm<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:53pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:11pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:23pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:39pm<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Estrangement</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:10pm<b>nsxgurlie22</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:14pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:55pm<b>izzy117</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:54pm

Firewielder's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Firewielder's badges

Firewielder's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (7472)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (3845)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28872) - you deserved it (3324)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34785) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (4407)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49026) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (5412)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (2931)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31738) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (7817)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: