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Firegirl741's FML badges
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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
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Firegirl741's favorite FMLs
by tracy4191 / 09/18/2016 at 1:21am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/13/2016 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:51pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML
by melon squash / 09/11/2016 at 6:15am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by failedparenting / 09/07/2016 at 12:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 8:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, I ran into an old couple everyone has been avoiding in my small town. Four weeks ago, they accidentally posted a picture of their pierced junk on Facebook, and I was one of the unlucky people who saw the actual picture. I can't make eye contact with them anymore. FML
by ReayHorse / 07/28/2016 at 12:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…