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Firegirl741

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 8:57am) | Search for a member

Firegirl741

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5070
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Visits<b>xxButtersxx</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:57pm

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Firegirl741's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (3079)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (5166)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31005) - you deserved it (6083)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28179) - you deserved it (2388)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (2550)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (3577)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

#21317204
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/14/2014 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (2197)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (2336)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (4243)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28321) - you deserved it (2529)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (2890)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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