Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Fireashes250 : I like minecraft, doctor who, Super heroes, Pokemon, Mario, Sonic, Walking Dead, Legend of Zelda, Persona 3 and 4, Music, The Yogscast, Singing, Adventure time, Cats, PewDiePie, Critikal, Creepy Pasta, Krav Maga, and a whole bunch more of other stuff.
If you know any of these things I just mentioned, message me so we can say what we think is the best part of that thing. Don't message me about cats because I'm pretty sure everybody knows about cats.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
Friday 30 January 2015