Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FireFlie07

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

FireFlie07

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 July 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1518
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 49 posted

About FireFlie07 : ? Guess ;)

FireFlie07's page activity

Visits<b>MailMan11</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 12:46am<b>melons</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 7:01pm<b>jmann8811</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:34pm<b>cam_hung</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:25am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 8:09pm<b>jtorr69</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 11:41am<b>f36k</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 12:15am<b>LA22</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 7:25am<b>frecklefreak27</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 11:02pm<b>greta_shine</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:00pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 5:08pm<b>idancewithllamas</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 6:34am<b>SombreroBanana</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 2:33pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 12/16/2012 at 1:59am<b>trqskq</b> - the 09/04/2012 at 4:06pm<b>MutilatedAbyss</b> - the 07/22/2012 at 8:47pm<b>josepho13</b> - the 06/20/2012 at 9:51pm

FireFlie07's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of FireFlie07's badges

FireFlie07's favorite FMLs

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (2344)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

#18624537
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (2673)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (4101)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (4101)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

#18535495
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (4122)

On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (4881)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25448) - you deserved it (15895)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12976) - you deserved it (41209)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11419) - you deserved it (43695)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (39200)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML

#18434296
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (3501)

On 12/05/2011 at 3:05am - love - by me - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

#18433688
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (8422)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (2379)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55232) - you deserved it (5529) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9904) - you deserved it (31190)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: