About FinJage : Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7508) - you deserved it (12250)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:04pm - misc - by AndyAnonymous (man) - United States
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (1710)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4527) - you deserved it (6013)
Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (2523)
On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16001) - you deserved it (2863)
On 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm - health - by jmac (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (1816)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (1707)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5465) - you deserved it (21614)
On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (6929)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (3316)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you deserved it (2013)
On 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (138) - you deserved it (2728)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16967) - you deserved it (2216)
On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15576) - you deserved it (1798)
On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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