About FinJage : Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (1887)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (1680)
On 07/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by rkbkate - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5185) - you deserved it (22476)
On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (4617)
On 07/09/2012 at 11:44am - misc - by seagull hater - United States (California)
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (1266)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9416) - you deserved it (17912)
On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16729) - you deserved it (4582)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (1280)
On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (1229)
On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12451) - you deserved it (1342)
On 06/17/2012 at 3:38pm - work - by Megan (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (1962)
On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14512) - you deserved it (1956)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Danielle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5382) - you deserved it (29927)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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