About FinJage : Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (1795)
On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States
Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (4573)
On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (1844)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17690) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2622)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5529) - you deserved it (13462)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7109) - you deserved it (13593)
On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5454) - you deserved it (13923)
On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14425) - you deserved it (2962)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10057) - you deserved it (19975)
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5704) - you deserved it (18151)
On 08/29/2012 at 12:59am - health - by Holly - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13526) - you deserved it (4163)
On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16437) - you deserved it (1215)
On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (1431)
On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (1325)
On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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