Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FinJage

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 11:09am) | Search for a member

FinJage

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4946
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FinJage : | Say goodnight to the Voices in your head |
| You never heard them anyway |
| You just might be insane |

FinJage's page activity

Visits<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:03pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:56am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:31am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:58pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:52pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:59pm<b>axeno</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 2:37am<b>ArielTheMermaid</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:02pm<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 6:52pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:26am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:02pm<b>October3461</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 4:19am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:54pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Red__Forman</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 1:36am<b>kashea</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:45pm<b>Jannis</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 12:30pm<b>pil_84</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 7:53am

FinJage's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of FinJage's badges

FinJage's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (6876)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

#19928719
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (4305)

On 07/12/2012 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by lissysue1 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (2339)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (2597)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6967) - you deserved it (26850)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

#19914260
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (6497)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:44am - misc - by seagull hater - United States (California)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (2784)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (1587)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML

#19905644
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12025) - you deserved it (26060)

On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (6222)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (1873)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

#19830019
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29982) - you deserved it (1879)

On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML

#19802218
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (1916)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:38pm - work - by Megan (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: