About FinJage : Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (1876)
On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (1679)
On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22511) - you deserved it (2724)
On 09/09/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by SoCalStoopid (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (5090)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (5090)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (34741)
On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10018) - you deserved it (46747)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (1873)
On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (2236)
On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (23353)
On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (3996)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (2009)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (9596)
On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42072) - you deserved it (3592)
On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)
Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (2394)
On 06/09/2011 at 10:25am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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