About FinJage : Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
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Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (1359)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by TheHezzer - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (2563)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (2563)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17642) - you deserved it (1825)
On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States
Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35544) - you deserved it (1974)
On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (2054)
On 02/15/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (1750)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (3965)
On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7810) - you deserved it (53709)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (7018)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (7018)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36679) - you deserved it (3436)
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (3869)
On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States
Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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