About FilleNoir : IG: whatweirdkidswear
FilleNoir's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
FilleNoir's favorite FMLs
by iLynz / 04/23/2013 at 2:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
by Flora / 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by geeshock1987 / 04/15/2013 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
by jasminejzhu / 04/14/2013 at 5:58am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by typical / 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
by idontevenlikehamsters / 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
by yeah why not / 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm / Norway / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous
by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Maggie / 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm / United States / Love
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by…