About FilleNoir : IG: whatweirdkidswear
FilleNoir's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
FilleNoir's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML
by SuperFail55 / 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML
by fuckwank / 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML
by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by what... / 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML
by LolAtMyPosts / 09/15/2013 at 2:04pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by theblackrose23 / 09/06/2013 at 8:10am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML
by Rapunzel1974 / 09/01/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…