Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FilleNoir

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

FilleNoir

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3505
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FilleNoir : I just love to read peoples funny life moments! Well... They're funny to me at least.

FilleNoir's page activity

Visits<b>JosephAnders</b> - 14 hours ago<b>medic8</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:43am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:57pm<b>QD</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:03pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:50pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:13pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:51pm<b>top_dawg45</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:02pm<b>rebecca_lobaina</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:13pm<b>Gloomybear69</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:20pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:46pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:16pm<b>thecalvin123</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:33pm<b>oufie20</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:55am<b>joedude967</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:17pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:11pm<b>thecouchisalive</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:48pm

Liked!<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:13pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:11pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:49am

FilleNoir's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of FilleNoir's badges

FilleNoir's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

#20953907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (4151)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (7986)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (19777)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52581) - you deserved it (7657)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45828) - you deserved it (5238)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (50248)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46333) - you deserved it (7935)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40625) - you deserved it (4514)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (5060)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (4906)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40778) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (2993)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: