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FilleNoir

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FilleNoir
  • Town/Country : CG, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 466
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FilleNoir : I just love to read peoples funny ass stories! Hope I NEVER have to post an FML :P

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FilleNoir's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5743) - you deserved it (49029)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (4759)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59595) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48682) - you deserved it (7070)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17921) - you deserved it (29253)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (12951)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (15254)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42347) - you deserved it (7086)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (47294)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML

#4004887
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48556) - you deserved it (3783)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by mubaki (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79636) - you deserved it (5387)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14507) - you deserved it (28989)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebees. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says "Here, I thought this might help." FML

#3730573
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (40353)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by CompleteWithPictures (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (2376)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75759) - you deserved it (15346)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)



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