Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FilleNoir

Offline (yesterday at 5:08am) | Search for a member

FilleNoir

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7970
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FilleNoir : I just love to read peoples funny life moments! Well... They're funny to me at least. Going to school for fashion merch and I love my terriers.
IG: whatweirdkidswear

FilleNoir's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:52am<b>SkullduggeryCain</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:40pm<b>FatKitty</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:11pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:29pm<b>just1n12</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:22am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:26am<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>myelias25</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:27am<b>amaya123</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:28pm<b>bluebluhblou</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:35am<b>j_portal</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:51pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 11:32am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 11:14am<b>bombielol</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 10:28am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 5:13pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:29pm

Fucked!<b>SkullduggeryCain</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:40am<b>myelias25</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:27pm<b>amaya123</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:28pm<b>jenkelo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:05pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:13pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:11pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:49am

FilleNoir's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of FilleNoir's badges

FilleNoir's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

#21430201
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (2558)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm - health - by LukesSkyWalker (woman) - United States

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (5189)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (9508)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33625) - you deserved it (6566)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (13160)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42746) - you deserved it (4332)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML

#21231104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (6193)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:35pm - animals - by chynna (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45772) - you deserved it (7798)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47798) - you deserved it (6773)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: