Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 11:08pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 May 1945 (69 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5356
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About FezzesAreCool : Sophomore, Doctor Who, equestrian, feminist, bi, professional procrastinator and Gravity Falls enthusiast. I also enjoy prancing around on a stage while quoting Shakespeare.

FezzesAreCool's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 20 hours ago<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:43pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:07am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:51pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:38am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:16pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:34am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:36pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:24am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:01am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:32pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:31pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:40am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:10am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:31pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:03pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:46am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:40pm

Fucked!<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:43am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:32am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11am<b>thinblue32</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:06am<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:27am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:15pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:20am<b>buddysboy9</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:22pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:49pm<b>IvyOswin</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:36am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:26am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:46pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:30am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:35am<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:05am

FezzesAreCool's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of FezzesAreCool's badges

FezzesAreCool's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (7232)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML


I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (34031)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (7534)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33900) - you deserved it (3201)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (15154)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (3369)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35687) - you deserved it (4146)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: