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Ferretface

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Ferretface

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5316
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Ferretface's favorite FMLs

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47641) - you deserved it (2960)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML

#6050287
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6246) - you deserved it (55840)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by GlassJAwkidE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (13534)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML

#5957039
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (36096)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML

#5946410
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (11635)

On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51579) - you deserved it (2737)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39791) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (6219)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (1908)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41934) - you deserved it (4442)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8456) - you deserved it (40698)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

#5837946
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (1650)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by gooddriver (woman) - United States

Today, I finished moving to my new apartment that is 45 minutes away from my old one because my workplace would be closer. I then get a phone call from my boss telling me that he will transfer me to another workplace (closer to my old apartment). FML

#5815195
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (1984)

On 10/13/2009 at 12:00pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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