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Ferretface

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Ferretface
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2745
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Ferretface's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML

#7803637
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (3775)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by anoynomous - Sent from mobile version

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

#7782568
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (7126)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by kaitlynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

#6883873
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (8937)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (1445)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (28271)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (3599)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

#6415288
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm - love - by petlover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his cell, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me "he was so sad that we broke up." I didn't know. FML

#6352143
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (1698)

On 11/18/2009 at 6:47am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50330) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

#6313521
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (1365)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5167) - you deserved it (51888)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

#6300869
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (1834)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by asthma_attacker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

#6298620
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (3362)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (3563)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)



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