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Ferretface's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Fatty / 03/06/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
by mariah_1_11 / 03/06/2010 at 12:14am / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Petergibbons / 03/05/2010 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Work
by icarlymom / 03/05/2010 at 1:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML
by Brandee / 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love
by AZN656 / 03/04/2010 at 6:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
by icegirl38 / 03/03/2010 at 10:09am / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Health
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML
by JackG / 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm / United States (Montana) / Kids
by lonelyashell / 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Celeste / 03/02/2010 at 4:14am / Singapore / Transportation
by grounded. / 03/02/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already… Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the… Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and…
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…