Ferretface

Search for a member

Ferretface

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9019
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Ferretface's page activity

Visits<b>haris1299</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:02am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Tasniax3</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:32pm<b>PlushhLove</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 8:33pm<b>azhaela</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 7:00pm<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 2:26am<b>cwells0430</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 11:33pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 12:15pm<b>onion00</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 12:15am<b>JessicaNovelli</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 1:22am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:56am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 12:35am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:15pm<b>ChingChongLing</b> - the 11/25/2011 at 4:40pm<b>Gigglebear</b> - the 07/28/2011 at 7:19pm<b>killakiwi</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 12:01pm

Fucked!<b>haris1299</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:02am

Ferretface's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Ferretface's badges

Ferretface's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 4:17am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

by Brinty / 03/13/2010 at 12:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

by EwokLover17 / 03/13/2010 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

by botharebad / 03/13/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

by jewel87 / 03/12/2010 at 11:39am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 2:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

by NotTilly / 03/10/2010 at 9:54am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

by Kevin / 03/10/2010 at 3:39am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

by whoanoa / 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

by oww / 03/09/2010 at 6:14am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

by fu2then / 03/09/2010 at 1:04am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

by what434 / 03/08/2010 at 8:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

by fatlady / 03/07/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health