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Ferretface's favorite FMLs
Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
by xUnluckyx / 03/18/2010 at 1:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML
by bunnylover / 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
by stunned / 03/15/2010 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML
by el211 / 03/15/2010 at 3:35am / United States (New York) / Love
by kukadaman / 03/15/2010 at 2:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML
by Fridaythe12th / 03/15/2010 at 12:51am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by OhhhNooo / 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Rick / 03/14/2010 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Money
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work
Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML
by hurt / 03/13/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…