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Ferretface's favorite FMLs
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML
by wakinginvegas87 / 09/05/2010 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 2:18am / United States (Arizona) / Money
by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML
by counselor / 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Hunterxx / 08/07/2010 at 1:21am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by sicufovoshxbsjdk / 08/06/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Our Talisman / 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm / Transportation
by Rawr / 08/01/2010 at 6:38am / Switzerland (Geneve) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
by kfoehslfns / 08/01/2010 at 4:45am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
by ick / 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation
Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML
by holly / 07/18/2010 at 10:18am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous
by killer / 07/17/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Geek
Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML
- last night, I was laying on the couch after my movie ended and I was checking my Instagram. My dad… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so… Today, I was on my way home from a long night shift, exhausted beyond belief. While walking down my…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…