Ferretface

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Ferretface

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9041
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Ferretface's page activity

Visits<b>haris1299</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:02am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:11am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Tasniax3</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:32pm<b>PlushhLove</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 8:33pm<b>azhaela</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 7:00pm<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 2:26am<b>cwells0430</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 11:33pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 12:15pm<b>onion00</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 12:15am<b>JessicaNovelli</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 1:22am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:56am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 12:35am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:15pm<b>ChingChongLing</b> - the 11/25/2011 at 4:40pm<b>Gigglebear</b> - the 07/28/2011 at 7:19pm<b>killakiwi</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 12:01pm

Fucked!<b>haris1299</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:02am

Ferretface's FML badges

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Ferretface's favorite FMLs

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

by JC / 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

by mareda / 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

by Kevin / 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

by 2285morgan / 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

by dee / 12/10/2011 at 5:14am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

by Mary / 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous