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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15342) - you deserved it (3680)
On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20024) - you deserved it (914)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (13006)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (2402)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (3643)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (3643)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30323) - you deserved it (3837)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26978) - you deserved it (6981)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (18880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9497) - you deserved it (19968)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (4006)
On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18102) - you deserved it (2091)
On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37036) - you deserved it (2676)
On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58505) - you deserved it (2791)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (4288)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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