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Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13810) - you deserved it (17674)
On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I spent about 10 minutes searching frantically for my cell phone, while holding it up to my ear and talking to my friend about my plans tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8005) - you deserved it (27076)
On 10/08/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (1682)
On 10/05/2011 at 1:28am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (3656)
On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13911) - you deserved it (6046)
On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (18659)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (8819)
On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (3059)
On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom
Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9945) - you deserved it (15926)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (3209)
On 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant when I knocked my glass of ice water over. In my attempt to clean it up with a napkin, I knocked a freshly filled cup of coffee all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you deserved it (6784)
On 07/15/2011 at 1:21pm - misc - by evilwater - United States
Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (4699)
On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21895) - you deserved it (2146)
On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5533) - you deserved it (81681)
On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (7882)
On 07/06/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by Emily - Australia (Western Australia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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