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Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (4377)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (4741)
On 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm - animals - by kengu (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18779) - you deserved it (3532)
On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (3809)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (2577)
On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (10241)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (2573)
On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (2519)
On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91785) - you deserved it (6409)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (2528)
On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -
Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8893) - you deserved it (22541)
On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally responded "Yeth ma'am". She ended the tour right there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5971) - you deserved it (46349)
On 02/09/2011 at 3:56pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (15706) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (4440)
On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (3831)
On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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