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Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13445) - you deserved it (6814)
On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13204) - you deserved it (14086)
On 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm - health - by burr415 (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (2988)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:55am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (1451)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (7072)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (8542)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5759) - you deserved it (24887)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17073) - you deserved it (1927)
On 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm - money - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (1686)
On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4007) - you deserved it (47124)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States
Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10563) - you deserved it (8773)
On 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by scarletscarface (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16017) - you deserved it (2525)
On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (16276)
On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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