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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17736) - you deserved it (3108)
On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (18374)
On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14834) - you deserved it (2380)
On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7330) - you deserved it (25631)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17192) - you deserved it (1897)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17192) - you deserved it (1897)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5345) - you deserved it (14441)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (4291)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16287) - you deserved it (2490)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16287) - you deserved it (2490)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (18990)
On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States
Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (4094)
On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (1244)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by davav74 (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7587) - you deserved it (24206)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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