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Fckyeahleslie's favorite FMLs
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication due to the high level of stress that I experience at my job. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the medication because I do not make enough money at said job. FML
by mrmr / 02/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML
by Porkchop05 / 09/06/2009 at 1:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by R_U_CEREAL / 07/04/2009 at 4:58am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was too late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML
by Sam / 05/19/2009 at 5:21am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
by Ian / 04/18/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
- Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's… Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of… Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making…