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Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokemon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokemon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10121) - you totally deserved it (46872)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80802) - you totally deserved it (38710)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidently drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82926) - you totally deserved it (13771)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - misc - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49419) - you totally deserved it (2755)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I proceeded to reading all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7344) - you totally deserved it (39723)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157185) - you totally deserved it (5114)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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