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FatMan23's favorite FMLs
by chaoticnh / 06/24/2011 at 5:57am / Austria / Health
Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML
by CallMeJesusFreak / 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Health
by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
by Hopslammer / 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
by Savannah / 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
by henry feingold / 06/10/2011 at 12:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fuck / 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…