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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (2154)
On 10/19/2009 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (6095)
On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11113) - you deserved it (27266)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States
Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32489) - you deserved it (6115)
On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34385) - you deserved it (1592)
On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (2288)
On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version
Today, I noticed a dent in the passenger door of my car. At first I blamed it on the door of another car. Then I remembered that my last passenger hadn't shut the door all the way, and I insisted on "showing him how it's done" by hip-checking the door shut. The dent perfectly fits my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3819) - you deserved it (27487)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by onei8785 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5240) - you deserved it (41425)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (3489)
On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75284) - you deserved it (10635)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31710) - you deserved it (4362)
On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (1058)
On 10/14/2009 at 4:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2531)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (1549)
On 10/12/2009 at 12:16am - work - by selfdefense - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (2738)
On 10/11/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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