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Farteroffire

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Farteroffire

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6604
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Farteroffire's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:43pm

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Farteroffire's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (11052)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (64537)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (49877)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (73305)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64501) - you deserved it (8379)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32464) - you deserved it (8980)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15959) - you deserved it (77483)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56141) - you deserved it (6826)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (30905)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77319) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)



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