Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Farteroffire

Search for a member

Farteroffire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6057
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Farteroffire's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:43pm

Farteroffire's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Farteroffire's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (10534)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19377) - you deserved it (62893)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9699) - you deserved it (45502)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15701) - you deserved it (68336)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62466) - you deserved it (8191)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (8358)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (74604)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (2821)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54003) - you deserved it (6583)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16920) - you deserved it (28069)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75454) - you deserved it (4317)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: