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Farteroffire

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Farteroffire

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5835
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Farteroffire's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:43pm

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Farteroffire's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (9857)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (61913)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9685) - you deserved it (45420)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15685) - you deserved it (68272)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59405) - you deserved it (7837)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (8351)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (72144)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (2555)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53957) - you deserved it (6576)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16901) - you deserved it (28035)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71823) - you deserved it (3970)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)



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