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Farteroffire

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Farteroffire

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  • Number of visits : 3923
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Farteroffire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5824) - you deserved it (47187)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

#6237110
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (4510)

On 11/09/2009 at 11:02pm - love - by amanda_ae_erin (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (33197)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38099) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

#6217069
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39965) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74013) - you deserved it (5833)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

#6195343
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you deserved it (4240)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10724) - you deserved it (29430)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

#6190781
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (2411)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:34am - love - by achoooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a party a fly flew into my mouth. I spit it out, and in an effort to wash out my mouth I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

#6180431
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30130) - you deserved it (8583)

On 11/06/2009 at 9:31am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56116) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

#6168775
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (8062)

On 11/05/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by x (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)



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